Dear Ones, Yes, perhaps that is a good place to open this long past due blog entry. Synapse challenged is how I am feeling these days. That and a whole lot of other things too. And I will stick with that sensation for a moment. Basically there is a period of time after chemo-cleanse where…
What, Really?
Dear Ones, I am appalled. My first chemotherapy bill has arrived. Yes, I am insured. And the system is broken. A village could be fed and have clean water for what my insurance will pay for a single chemo treatment for a middle class white woman in America. I am so grateful for the gift…
Chemo-Cleanse 2 Day 2
Dear Ones, Yesterday went well. The docs listened and heard us. I feel far more understood and taken care of. They felt a 25% reduction of the chemo-cleanse adriamycin and cytoxan was warranted, as well as some modifications to the pre-meds for nausea prevention. So, the infusion went well, too. Claire was my nurse again,…
These Curly Locks
Dear Ones, When I wrote a couple of weeks ago about letting go of my hair, a good friend who has walked a similar journey, shared this poem with me. My own long strands of silky threads are coming loose from their anchors and will soon be gone. This poem speaks to me; it makes…
Chemo Cleanse – Week One
Dear Ones, Thank you for your love and prayers this past week. It has been a week unlike any I have every experienced or imagined. If you can hang in with the story, please do. Short story, my body did not handle the (unexpectedly large) dose of chemotherapy drugs well. In fact, it made me…
So this morning …
Dear Ones, The moon was full and golden, and she kept me company as I ate an early morning snack that I have found calms the burning pain I feel when hungry. I slept again, and when I woke the ducks were all outside the window. When I came closer to see, I discovered there…
Worry in the Night
Dear Ones, For some inexplicable reason, I woke repeatedly last night and found that in those dark moments my mind easily found things to fuss and worry about. I know about worry. It is about fear and lack and it makes me miserable. I recognize it pretty quickly these days and know I want to…
My Full Body Chemo Cleanse
Dear Ones, We have all the pieces in place at this point, and I wanted to let you all know about my treatment plan and choices. First, you will notice that I am languaging differently again. If this makes you uncomfortable or it is hard to understand, please refer back to my intentional language post…
Choices, Wisdom, and a Leo’s Mane
my natural curls tonight Dear Ones, There is so much to write about, life has been as full for me as it has for everyone else, I’m sure. These have been my rest and get organized weeks. Nowhere on my to-do list was Earthquake or Hurricane! And we fared well through it all, were only…
Chickpea to Cook
by Rumi A chickpea leaps almost over the rim of the pot where it’s being boiled. “Why are you doing this to me?” The cook knocks him down with the ladle. “Don’t you try to jump out. You think I’m torturing you. I’m giving you flavor, so you can mix with spices and rice and…