As I relax in the sun watching girls ride after school and after work I can feel the warmth and the breeze. I can feel my connection with the kids and horses and feel my face shift to a smile when someone jumps a good course. In every moment there are so many sensory inputs. The breeze has picked up, curiosity of whose tires are moving along the dirt road, the itch where a tick bit me last week.
My experience of living in the skin I have is that underneath it all I am feeling my body’s size, contours, rolls, and weight. As I sit here, I can feel the weight of my body as I lean into my right hip, my left arm is leaning on my mid-belly roll and I can feel some tummy bumping into the top of my thighs.
This is a steady conversation I live within, modeled from the outside as I was trained early to note such concerns. I can’t quite imagine it any other way. I do imagine feeling these sensations without charge, without story, without shame.
It’s a seemingly slow road to shift, one I have walked for years. Simple awareness brings me back to the experience of living in this body, noting its contours and sensations, noting moments with awareness and without judgment.